The first week

We are home for almost a week now. New changes to adapt, schedule to be adjusted and awaiting nothing but more drama.

The first night, after not spending 3 nights with my first born. Wow, I really misses the peace in the night i had when I was in the hospital.

My first born isn’t able to sleep on his own anymore without me by his side. His sensory are can detect better than Singapore’s ERP gantry that I’ve shifted from my original position. And “que” crying/ screaming and looking for me.

So calm him down, assuring that I’m there etc. x 100000 times throughout the night.

Thankfully everything gets better day by day.

The new week, Monday I sent him back to the Krippe. Informing the teachers that my parents would be picking J up etc.

My mom nearly killed me for leaving the house during my confinement. I explained to her that I can’t just let go and you all fetch him. He will feel that I don’t love him anymore coz of the brother. And he don’t even spend more than a month in a year with you all. It takes time.

Like all old ginger, she feels that we spoilt him. Anyway, I did what I should do. Mom just said don’t say that the body is bad next time etc etc.

For the last 3 days, I would drive him to the Krippe, TH or my dad are there. Some days TH will drop him, my dad will pick him up and I drove back. Yesterday I let my dad drive to pick TH up from the train station and back home.

The routine:

0800 try to leave house

0820 Krippe

0845 home

0900 breakfast

1000 bath

1200 lunch

1400 pick kid

I should lie down and rest or sleep. Please tell me when? When you have 2. Sleep is probably the last thing in the head.

Day 4, this morning, no meltdown. I’m home alone with the baby. Dad drove. TH drop the kid. And they drop TH at the train station. Mom went along to accompany dad. So that she can go for a ride.

Change is scary. Especially for a toddler.

And I understand that.

Behavior towards the brother?

Too loving. He will tell me:” mama, baby is so small”

Can’t remember which day it was. I was with him eating his snack. Then he went to look for the brother. My mom passed him for me to feed him.

J was running around the house, in the bedroom, toilet, kitchen and mumbling “huh, where? ” looking for something.

And he came to me:” mama, baby is missing”

I said: silly boy, he is here. (In my arms)

J: oh baby, I thought we lost you.

We bumped into our neighbour’s grandparents were here to babysit the children coz the mom went back to Morocco. And asked J about his brother.

J: er weint sehr viel (he cries a lot)



he will tell people that his name..

that he is small.

And he has no teeth.

Interesting right how a 3yo sees his brother.

Everyday is getting better and I really can’t wait for the confinement to finish. It’s not that I cannot go out or what. We incl. the baby has been to the supermarket for grocery run.

I just try not to go out so that I have less nagging from the mother. 🤪 keeping my sanity alive.


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