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Maybe because Ju is 3.5 yo when the brother arrives. I think he is still mild and still controllable and of course because my parents are here too. 4 more hands to help and to entertain him.
He greets and kisses his brother every day when he is home from school.
The part where I go crazy is that he screams and screams for attention especially when I am changing diaper. I mean I understand that he had that 101% attention for the last 3.5 years. It’s normal. But the noise and crying when I don’t appear in front of him is killing me. Very Fan Ren you know.
He has to learn. So I told him. He can scream, shout and cry. It will just make me come slower: explained daily to him that his brother can walk, eat or go pee pee independently. So he needs to let me help him first.
Let’s see how it goes.
We are flying off to the Red Sea for a week. Then for 2 months back home.
Sometime I feel better alone. My mom kept nagging and one crying for milk another one screaming for attention and it really drives me up the wall.
My half ass (humouring my mom kinda) confinement is finally over. I ate all the food she cooked this time. Even though I don’t like eating the chicken wine thing, pig stomach and pig trottle vinegar. I ate all of them this time and the massive amount of ginger. Thankfully, jo didn’t (touch wood) get jaundice (which ginger seems to be the cause- no scientific research)
Weight lost seems to be the most concern thing for most preggers. Envy or not … weight gain was 6kg+, gave birth at week 38. Post preggy weight = pre preggy weight.
After 4 weeks, I shed an extra kg.
Envy? Don’t. Because when you have 2 kids. U have no peace to eat. And also chasing a toddler and cooing the other… oh…. that’s better than Marie franc. Even though I’m not a billionaire’s daughter (ahem) no personal trainer or slimming center. I’m skinnier than before and I’m above 30. Just that I’m no hot mom. Lol.
2 kids is no joke. I’m still in honeymoon because my parents are here. My dad will help do laundry, throw trashes. Took them a while to learn how to separate trash. He also drove to pick J up. So it’s really wonderful. Le Hub on the other side is chilling. At night he will read to the older one while I bf Jo. Tandem sleeping. So both aren’t disturb by their cries.
Counting down to the last few weeks before they depart. Damn scary.
I’m supposed to give birth today and I didn’t. Oh well. 2 more weeks to go and I’m finished with confinement.
Sometime last week I check my weight. Back to pre- pregnancy weight. Which wasn’t a big deal since I didn’t even gain much. Tummy is back in. Still flabby but I think it’s probably due to the junk I’m eating. Those chocolate cookies and chocolate that i didn’t eat during pregnancy.
Obviously doing confinement is just to make my mom happy. I showered daily just not washing the hair. Which I did before I discharge. And no matter how much dry shampoo I’m using. It’s still GROSS. But I’m trying my best.
It’s not jail time so the little one has out for grocery shopping. I have been doing school runs. So it’s not that bad.
(No photos because WP storage is full 😦 and I’m too cheap to pay. Posted pictures on IG, if you are interested)
Long weekend for us. And the weather is stormy. Yesterday’s afternoon, made my parents bring J out to the playground.
So I was home alone with TH and the baby.
Finally some couple time in private. Oh yes privacy please…
We had dinner first. And so TH shared about his work and restructuring etc. his next few years plan. Parental leave etc. it seems like ages since we last talk.
He has a Cambridge trip before we go on holiday. Which I told him to go and stay longer. He needs a break too.
Then we will go Egypt. Then he has another work trip before my parents depart.
Living alone overseas for so long has made both of us very “anal” on certain stuffs. Other than toilet. It’s the kitchen.
My mom literally took the kitchen over and it took her a long time to get used to separating trash. Organic, recyclable, waste waste and paper.
The first few days after I was discharged, TH complaint. Your mom don’t listened anymore. No negotiation.
“Why stress me”
My neighbours (actually only one) are particular if we separate waste or not. Yes she pop her heads inside the waste bin.
Anyway explained to my mom the next few days. And finally she got the hang of it. Conflict 1 resolved.
Conflict 2 is that my mom cooks with full power. No. 9 heat. TH told her no need to cook at 9. After it boils turn down to 5 or 6. Mom likes to argue. And said no taste.
And then TH said now I understand why you are irritated after I cook.
The kitchen is not meant for Asian cooking.
I just hope my mom don’t damaged any thing because the kitchen comes with the house.
So during the weekends, TH cooks. So they can rest. And my dad can eat pasta and all.
Lucky for dishwasher or else I think the kitchen might be flooded.
I explained to TH. He must understand that my mom don’t do housework anymore. And they belong to the era that don’t listen. Just like his parents.
I think after that he was ok. And that my mom got better with the trash. 🙂
We are home for almost a week now. New changes to adapt, schedule to be adjusted and awaiting nothing but more drama.
The first night, after not spending 3 nights with my first born. Wow, I really misses the peace in the night i had when I was in the hospital.
My first born isn’t able to sleep on his own anymore without me by his side. His sensory are can detect better than Singapore’s ERP gantry that I’ve shifted from my original position. And “que” crying/ screaming and looking for me.
So calm him down, assuring that I’m there etc. x 100000 times throughout the night.
Thankfully everything gets better day by day.
The new week, Monday I sent him back to the Krippe. Informing the teachers that my parents would be picking J up etc.
My mom nearly killed me for leaving the house during my confinement. I explained to her that I can’t just let go and you all fetch him. He will feel that I don’t love him anymore coz of the brother. And he don’t even spend more than a month in a year with you all. It takes time.
Like all old ginger, she feels that we spoilt him. Anyway, I did what I should do. Mom just said don’t say that the body is bad next time etc etc.
For the last 3 days, I would drive him to the Krippe, TH or my dad are there. Some days TH will drop him, my dad will pick him up and I drove back. Yesterday I let my dad drive to pick TH up from the train station and back home.
0800 try to leave house
1400 pick kid
I should lie down and rest or sleep. Please tell me when? When you have 2. Sleep is probably the last thing in the head.
Day 4, this morning, no meltdown. I’m home alone with the baby. Dad drove. TH drop the kid. And they drop TH at the train station. Mom went along to accompany dad. So that she can go for a ride.
Change is scary. Especially for a toddler.
And I understand that.
Behavior towards the brother?
Too loving. He will tell me:” mama, baby is so small”
Can’t remember which day it was. I was with him eating his snack. Then he went to look for the brother. My mom passed him for me to feed him.
J was running around the house, in the bedroom, toilet, kitchen and mumbling “huh, where? ” looking for something.
And he came to me:” mama, baby is missing”
I said: silly boy, he is here. (In my arms)
J: oh baby, I thought we lost you.
We bumped into our neighbour’s grandparents were here to babysit the children coz the mom went back to Morocco. And asked J about his brother.
J: er weint sehr viel (he cries a lot)
he will tell people that his name..
that he is small.
And he has no teeth.
Interesting right how a 3yo sees his brother.
Everyday is getting better and I really can’t wait for the confinement to finish. It’s not that I cannot go out or what. We incl. the baby has been to the supermarket for grocery run.
I just try not to go out so that I have less nagging from the mother. 🤪 keeping my sanity alive.
I was planning that we head up to Berlin/ Leipzig during the long weekend.
After the Maifest in J’s kindergarten, the school is closed on Monday for team coaching again. My plan was that we do a card for TH. As it’s the german’s father day. Then for music class in the afternoon.
Since Saturday, I started to have discharged. Dark ones which is totally normal after 37 weeks according to dr google. Like the body is getting ready for birth.
We were in Chiemsee on Saturday and Sunday was Maidult( shops are open).
Monday around 4ish in the morning, a bigger piece of discharge came out. Brownish like which i suspect is some part before the mucus plug.
I packed some activities for J, packed his snack bag, cooked rice. And went back to sleep.
After the boys woke up, we including my SIL, we went for breakfast. No white sausages thus we shared the breakfast set for 2 among the 4 of us.
Then home to nap, lunch then music class. I started to have Braxton Hicks. Which is obviously normal.
Then after music class, we had early dinner at the Vietnamese place. J had pho which was then shared among the 3 of us. Then we ordered a big sushi set.
Contraction starts. Called the hospital and they said come in when it’s 3-5 mins apart.
According to our last birth, it’s probably going to take place the next morning. So no stress at all.
Got home, showered. J played. Around 7ish contractions started to be every 10 mins already.
So made J sleep and told him that maybe I need to go to the hospital and he will stay home with the auntie.
At first he was ok with it. Then no.
Suddenly the contractions lasted for a minute or so. But every 10 mins apart. And TH asked if I was already pushing?
And by 9ish. It’s suddenly 5 mins or so. So woke TH up and told him to let his sister knows.
The min I climbed out of bed. J was awake too. And started crying so we packed him along and my SIL.
Drove out of the garage at 10pm. Arrived at the hospital with my entourage outside the delivery suit at 1015. Midwife checked. Told TH to fast go settle administration. And she also called the admission to kick start the registration. The midwife on duty came and said Let’s start pushing. And burst my water bag.
WHAT??!!! 😱 TH isn’t even up yet.
Contractions came… again. Push.
How much dilated am I?
Full 10 cm!!!!
3 bloody pushes and the head isn’t even through.
The pain is terrible. No kidding. I wanted to ask them to cut and pull out.
Finally TH is up. And asked if I have ordered for epidural. Midwife said not possible. By the time the dr is here. The baby would be out. 😮😲😲
Another push, the midwife called the gynea on duty to come. And push. The head is out. And 3 of them started laughing. Apparently, baby was mumbling something.
I’m in pain. Terrible pain and yet they are having pleasure.
Another wave of contraction and shoulder is out. And then the legs.
My legs were numb. I’m in tears basically. Coz it’s really painful. Trying to recalled what happened. I had to push again for the placenta to come out.
1036 pm. Everything was history.
TH clipped the umbilical cord. Then he went to take my phone from my bag. He left his at home. I didn’t even had chance to msg my sisters that I’m in hospital or get ready to push. It just happened suddenly.
After the placenta is out and that everything is checked and intact. J is allowed to come in.
Then I need to stay in the room for a few hours. So I made J sleep beside me while TH carried the baby.
Finally at 2am, the room is ready and I’m being pushed to the room. No single room or family room thus I told TH to bring J and my SIL home. And got him to sleep before picking up my parents up at 7am from the airport.
Enjoying my last week with TH before he goes back to work on Wednesday. We have been eating out awfully a lot. Spending a lot of money on food. No holiday so I guess food heals the soul. (Self consolation) Wanted to go on a long weekend trip when parents are here. See how it goes… need to book those refundable hotel I guess in case I need to push.
Our Mannheim friend came by on Saturday for a test drive. Sold the old campervan and bought a newer one. So wanted to test it before they go on a month long road trip in summer. Just to make sure that the car is working well, the beds are ok etc etc.
It was J’s dream when he saw that car! He wanted to go camping with fire. It’s 100€ per night for rental. Which is ok. Coz hotel would be around that price too.
There is 4 beds inside. 1 double and 2 single.
Instead of sleeping in the house they parked outside at our parking lot and try sleeping. Hahaa…. the mattress is not good. So they are getting a new one.
Life is different with 2 children. We had rainbow muffin for tea then Spargel for dinner on Saturday. Sunday morning we went for breakfast at the bakery. (Because of the playground of course) Then I managed to ask them question regarding insurance etc. and TH is super interested with the campervan of course. After 2h of peace eating breakfast without the boys, we went for a short walk then home for lunch. TH made char siew rice. And after that lunch, they left so that the kids can nap in the car. Kinda cool. I think it’s more practical than a caravan. At least less stress with towing another long object. Let’s see when we will go camping with it. Pregnancy update: had my 2 sessions of acupuncture, weight gain less than 6kg. Baby is about 2.5kg which is 30 percentile, which is ok la. I don’t think I can produce a 4kg baby anyway.
After J’s nap. We went to the mosque down the road for their open house. Have you been to a mosque for a tour? I’m not saying blue mosque in Istanbul or tourist spot. Anyway we went. Pretty interesting. Proper explanations. The cleaning, The rituals. The prayers etc.
Pretty eye opening for me at least.
Monday was checking another butchery if they sells pig stomach. Oh god, the butcher said he can keep it for me. They usually throw them away. So I ordered one for next week. And I don’t even eat them.
Came home, cooked, fed kid. Nap then we went music class.
After class TH came to meet us for ice cream and walk in the park. Where he went to get the car and then drove home because he can’t remember of he off the stove. Drove back again and picked us and we had dinner.
Time flies. 2 weeks + to go and we will be 4.
Finally took up J’s old stuffs for washing. Won’t be buying anything new. Let’s see how bad the summer will be. NB has to wear long sleeves anyway.
Happy May Day everyone! 🙂
Apparently my cervix is at its maximum so I need to rest and gain weight.
Thanks lor. I have a pai ka at home and a speedy Gonzales. Ask them to do things together, one will always end up crying. Then the peace maker me had to come in to console the younger one. And tell the other one off.
Not walk? How? Who do grocery, laundry, chauffeuring?
Wish me luck people…..
Sharing something very silly….
I wake up at around 6am daily automatically.
Then I read all the 100 plus whatsapp messages I get from home.
I was telling my sisters that I’m so excited that I’m able to clean the house today as TH is going back to work.
The smell of disinfectant, airing the house, the sun etc. and planning what task to do first etc.
At 7, I went out to wash up and check on TH.
He said he is not feeling well and is staying home.
😫 I msged my sisters again….
“Now I’m sad again”
Yes I have OCD. So after dropping J, I cleaned up the bedroom, changed the sheets and got TH to rest inside while I clean the living room and toilet.
For once in week the living room is properly aired. Changed the sheets, sun all his beddings and the sofa before I put clean sheets on again.
Then the normal wiping of surfaces etc. Before I head upstairs to vacuum.
So end of the day, I’m happy too. 😬😬😬😊😊😊
I even have time to prepare some more activities forJ.